Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
