I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
