youre lurking in front of me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
