We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
