NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
