she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
