Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sobbing to NWA
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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