you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
