he wants to bone in the snuggie
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
