how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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