Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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