another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
