I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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