No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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