if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
