Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
