last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
