am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
