kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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