Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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