I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just had sex bonerless
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
