He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
