I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
