I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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