i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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