Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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