either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
