then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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