North Korea, Best Korea!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
the raccoons are back...
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