One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm always down for nudity.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
