Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
