Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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