i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
