Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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