hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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