I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
