i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
