I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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