In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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