They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
