Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
