I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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