theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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