My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
