hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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