I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
