I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
