Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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