Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it was like eating out sand paper
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
