She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
