i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
