Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
